Had the dubious joy of packing up my entire life once again into boxes. I think I actually got away quite lightly having packed only 10 various sized boxes into storage and 2 suitcases home. Ah but then see, in the past 8 years I've moved an average of once a year. That's packed up my entire life once a year. You'd think I learnt to live light by now right? Well. Yes. Lighter than most at least. And if nothing else, I've learnt how not to make things permanent, how to leave only a light footprint behind one, and how to do without. I wonder if the converse would be harder. To learn how to put down roots once again.
Currently in Kuching, having flown here approximately one day after I got off the plane from Boston. Will be in Singapore again Monday night and then leaving again Friday for Japan. After which, will be in the US, returning to Singapore and starting work June 22nd.
Southeast Asia is hot and humid and the air presses down in layers. I am not as bored in Kuching as one might think though. This place changes if ever, slowly but everytime I return, there's always enough change within me to see the old things with slightly different eyes. That makes it different enough. If nothing else, I can always write.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Yet another transition
I'm sitting at Cosi, in one of their big red couches and for once, there is nothing urgent I need to be doing before class. I don't have a paper due in an hour. And I'm not late for some meeting or other. Sometimes, I let life get the better of me like that. Indeed, most of the time I know I do it to myself. I tend to over-commit and get over involved in everything and anything.
But for now, for this hour, I get to sit and nibble at my salad (with gorgonzola, cranberries, pears and grapes, with flatbread) and sip my coffee as the world passes me by. And I think "ah, this is everything I will miss about here." You see, I am going home. Maybe not forever, maybe not even for a long time, but for this summer I am going home.
As always you have to give something up to get something and so for this summer, I am giving up new england and for one summer, I am going to see if I can survive making Singapore my home again. Yes, survive. Home, as always, brings up a complicated mix of nostalgia and trepidation. One summer, would hopefully tell me enough about whether I can do this for good. Give up my yogurt granola parfaits, cooking experiments, long beautiful walks in return for crowds of people, an endless mile of the same shops and a faster pace of life.
8 years, willing or no, makes a place you live in home and leaves more of a mark on you than you leave on it. What has new england left on me? A love of lobster? A sense of independence? Confidence? I pray that at least some of these marks are indelible.
But for now, for this hour, I get to sit and nibble at my salad (with gorgonzola, cranberries, pears and grapes, with flatbread) and sip my coffee as the world passes me by. And I think "ah, this is everything I will miss about here." You see, I am going home. Maybe not forever, maybe not even for a long time, but for this summer I am going home.
As always you have to give something up to get something and so for this summer, I am giving up new england and for one summer, I am going to see if I can survive making Singapore my home again. Yes, survive. Home, as always, brings up a complicated mix of nostalgia and trepidation. One summer, would hopefully tell me enough about whether I can do this for good. Give up my yogurt granola parfaits, cooking experiments, long beautiful walks in return for crowds of people, an endless mile of the same shops and a faster pace of life.
8 years, willing or no, makes a place you live in home and leaves more of a mark on you than you leave on it. What has new england left on me? A love of lobster? A sense of independence? Confidence? I pray that at least some of these marks are indelible.