food makes me happy. or small things. or maybe a combination of both. :-p yeah megan's going to say I'm horrible again. but I got her a small surprise so that should keep her happy for a while. but I definitely need to get a life. or stop being so dependent on small things.

so I'm not a very good liar. I can lie and pull it off but i feel too guilty about it. yeah. I told her. she said she knew anyway. but yeah. I give in so fast.

I'm too good of an actor for my own good. what can I do? I can pretend I don't care but it's killing me inside. it's so killing me inside and she doesn't even know she's doing it. it's not even her fault. it's my fault because i lied to her. but I have to. I can't.. I can't take it much more. I'm soo in trouble it's not even funny anymore. what can I do. all I want to do is hide under my covers and cry. help me.

showers are good fo rthe soul. even with a million things on your mind that you don't forget not even in the shower. everything seems so much more peaceful.

lead us not into temptation
doing the right thing hurts sometimes
don't stand so close to me
I might love you.

A cart ran into me at work.. oh well at least it didn't run over me. anyway the point was the outcome - extreme pain. :-( to get the idea it cut into the back of my ankle and at first it was the sheer force of the cart that caused the pain. didn't even realised it was bleeding till 5 min later... and yeah it was bleeding so cleaned it put a plaster and back to work right? half an hour later back in my room I change the plaster because it had bled through it. *ouch* yeah and it still hurts now. *sigh* okay I guess its to sleep for me I'm going to get really little sleep again. have to get up to get to 9am class.

have to go to work in 2 hours. work is kinda screwing up my sleep schedule. instead of sleeping 8 hours I end up sleeping like 5 or 6 and napping in the afternoon only when you break sleep up like that it's never the same... haven't been eating well htis weekend too. or rather not on sunday and today and I'm craving calamari or at the very least proper food. actually considering getting proper food this week as opposed to cooking.. hmm.. I'm out of vegetables in any case... cept onions.... :-p

partying way too much this week. I don't even know why. normally I'm more of a hermit than a party animal but htis week i've become so get up and go. J came into my room tuesday nightand was like we're going to a swing dance now. 2 minutes to dress. and i did. and we did go and mind you this was a swing dance in another twon. not even some young party thing a proper dance in a proper dance hall.
and then there was yesterday.. I suppose the excuse is that it was halloween. so yeah I went to upstairs PW to see the bands play. serge's band was playing and it was great. *grin* and then after that there was the midnight organ concert. went with f, and J, and s and then ran into ben there. so didn't get to sleep till 2am despite having 9am classes. I really need to study for my midterm next week. maybe it's just cause I don' twant to think. filling up my life sounds pretty good.