I'm back! well actually I'm in Japan and bored out of my wits. but yeah. so have been spending lots of time online catching up and "running errands" that take frightfully long due to lack of ethernet. Sad ain't it?
Erm let's see what else. going to universal studios later. hopefully that would be entertaining. yep. And erm... yeah that's pretty much it actually. not much tosay.

Well... meg and matt have this thing going now. and I only wish it happened much earlier. it's such a relief. esp. since now meg would be less snappy and grumpy. I'm usre some of it is matt's shiny happy people thing rubbing off on her but in general I think meg needs to be attached to be happy. which is why she was extra bad when ben and filipa got to gether and all that. *sigh* maybe everybody needs somebody to be happy or something. I guess out of them I'm the only one who is as happy not attached as as. well.. filipa too mabye. or maybe we just hide it so well even from ourselves. it's hard to tell.

what else... hmm... I like my life simple and uncomplicated I guess. adn I also guess that unless I know that somene really loves me with all my heart, I don't htink I'll ever get involved. the thing is it's so hard to know my own heart. I'm sure I'm being overly stringent and lal that becaues of coruse when you first start dating someone, you don't know if you really love that person or if it's like just attraction. But then you go through the whole thing and find out if it lasts. but I guess the thing is that what happens if you find out the first time that it doesn;t? then there's this whole block there that it never will or something. and even if you want to try and start afresh or something you can't. you no longer have the whole honey moon stage to drive you starry eyed and run you through the troubles. I wonder if there is such a thing as true love that can withstand without the honey moon.

*sigh* I know I'm horrible.but I'm so drained that the only thing I am looking for now is the hooney moon. is the fun in getting to know someone and not much else. I don't think I'm ready for the work involved in everything else i guess or have the energy for it with everything else in my lfie. and that I can get from friends. I should go make new friends *grin*