I was going to write this as a comment on her blog but then it got too long.
In response to http://lucid-nonsense.blogdrive.com/, I suspect I definitely have no principles where that is concerned.
I think if the guys in question did all that they did in a condescending manner I would be insulted rather than impressed. But because I really couldn't have managed carrying that home on my own...or rather would have managed but with great difficulty, I'm perfectly willing to let guys carry things for me to save me the work.
To be fair let me also mention that I'm equally impressed if a girl does that for me but to date no girl ever has offered to help me out when I'm bogged down with something and need help. What does that say about our society then? That the guys only do it because there is some subconcious sexual attraction even if it is not overt? Or that the guys are the only ones that have been socially conditioned to help?
I say subconciously because trust me, I know when a guy is simply doing something in order to attempt to impress me and that earns negative points with me.
I also admit that "doing all the little things" does not equate to being a nice guy and I never intended it to. I am currently caught between a dichotomy of opposites where my friends back home complain that guys are just incredibly dense and fail to remember birthdays, help carry things even when the girl in question is obviously struggling, and all the other little social niceties one would expect from anyone, and my friends here complain that guys here (who do do all that for the most part) are all egocentric jerks.
I have a number of guy friends who are thoughtful, sweet, considerate and genuinely nice, and yes they do treat me as equals. For some reason, there are never enough of them to go round.
Then of course we get to the "nice guy"'s complaint: "How come girls are only attracted to Jerks?" To which my response would be too long to post :-)
5 comments:
I suggest 3 broad reasons:
1. Girls are stupid and they *think* they want what jerks represent.
2. Girls are not stupid but they actually want what jerks represent. (De gustibus, non disputatum est.)
3. It's all Hello Kitty's fault.
Pokemon. I definitely blame Pokemon.
Anyway, its all genetic. Dangerous, nasty odious men are better genetic donors but really suck around the house.
Actually none of that is true. More likely its one of those lure of the forbidden things.
what about self confidence? I think that plays a large part in attraction on both sides.
Well, that falls under #1: "girls are stupid and *think* they want what jerks represent". Only maybe "stupid" is a little harsh in this case.
I think both genders are attracted to people with much more self-confidence than them (self-confidence is very sexy, and it attracts), but I think that what they really want is that self-confidence for themselves and not the person as a partner.
Ah yes, the projection thing. Happens to people of all ages.... old men and young girls? ;)
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