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love. work. play. stress. learning. failing. succeding. laughing. crying. Basically, Life.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

For some reason blooger hasn't let me post notes on other people's blogs of late.. i wonder if it's the notes malfunction again.

On Brown:
I don't know whether to be happy or lonely now that I'm back in brown. On one hand, I love brown and i love the life here, and I love my friends here too. The classes are challenging and we somehow always find some time for some fun in the middle of it all. Unfortunately, on the other hand, it's also very alone. I think maybe living in the grad center has somehting to do with it. I have a large single, well large by brown standards in any case, but the concrete walls are definitely depressing, like being in solitary confinement. I also hate unpacking and packing and I think that may have somehting to do with it. My room is now messy and painfully empty. Sometimes I actually understand why some uni students go through hook-up after hook-up, it's easier and less work than maintaining a relationship and in return you get some company, some warmth, a little bit of joy in your life and a whole lot more things to do and someone to do them with. Sometimes I'm tempted to join them myself but the rest of me won't let me do that. Not that i'm against hook-ups or anything, i think i just won't let myself go into any relationship even a non-serious one without meeting someone that measures up to what i want and that is nigh impossible :-p

On Relationships:
And since I'm on that topic already, I suspect the reason why I'm waxing maudin on that topic is because everyone in my suite is attached lol. well barring Fire, but then she has her fair share of relationships just not a single formal serious one at the moment instead of my detached zen like state. not that I'm complaining of that state, lol. I admit I do get tired of playing the oldest sister all the time, but then I could never live with mess in my internal life. external yeah but having my internal life in a mess makes me suicidal.

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