I think i'm slowly going mad. I'm not sure how long I can go on like this. how much longer i can hold it all together. how much longer I can pretend to hold it all together. I can't do it. tell anybody trust anybody. I think after a while you lose the ability to do so. after a while you can no longer open your heart up as easily as you could before. shells within shells within shells. maybe I let you all think that i trust you too easily. so that you never ever get beyond that. I seriously just feel like giving up and dying or at least give up trying, let everything go. and that scares me. I almost never give in. what is it? fatigue maybe? too much stress. how much added stress is each little thing. why can I only deal with the last little thing the last little anything. Just how long would it take me to fall apart? do you know how close to snapping I am? do any of you know or even guess? I can't deal with anything anymore. everything's out of proportion. everything's being multiplied and sent back in a hundred. every little thing. I can't deal anymroe. I can't I can't I can't. I'm sorry but you have to be superhuman. don't talk to me like that. don't even let the undertone in your voice show. don't because every little thing is coming back to be hundredfold. i'm not sure how much longer i can hold it together. don't because the next time you do I might snap. the next time you do I might close for good. the next time you see me. all that's left of me might be long gone.